I am sitting in my apartment allowing the cool spring air to flow freely through my opened balcony slider and through a few opened windows. The sun is brightly shining in a blue sky absent of clouds. A mockingbird is cheerfully sending various and repetitive calls into the morning air. I am lollygagging on my computer, in blogging forums, reading, and not accomplishing much at all.
I rarely respond to author LL barkat’s challenge to write something about On, In, and Around Mondays, yet this time, in my dazed tiredness, I feel the want to do something productive since all my morning plans have dissolved.
I wanted to be out cycling around the lake early, running errands, mailing letters. I am mentally and physically fatigued from the previous stressful work-week. Right now, in this moment, I don’t feel like doing any thing.
There is a heaviness in my morning step that keeps taking me back to the sofa. The laziness I feel now isn’t old age or laziness at all. It is me tired and needing rest; The plan to cycle this weekend must wait, the chores, the research for my poem about Jesus walking on water must wait, the drawing of my son sitting on a tranquil shore, harmonica practice, all must wait – The mental and physical fatigue dictating my day is nicely asking me for a response, right now, not tonight.
Inspiration, energy, and initiative will come as a reward once my body gets what it needs.
I often push myself to accomplish more, yet, I know better. For me, the secret to priming productivity is in balancing. I need to prioritize my time for optimal performance; Spiritual balance, eating well, sleeping well, are the main three that lead me into making time for the other necessities; exercise, engaging in the creative process, charity/community, connecting with nature, being accountable to the love I share with family and friends.
I need them all, but now, I seem to need rest the most.
I feel guilty when I don’t do as I planned, yet really, I need grace to just lay still, rest, perhaps nap it off. I know if I do, the genius in me will awake again, taking me forward with excitement and ambition into another productive adventure where I can do my best within the challenging limits of my time and humanness.